Edit: Apparently this never posted haha but I still think its important!
Hey all! I just found it we’re on the last day of invisible illness week and I’d like to take part! Sorry for deviating so soon but I also believe dealing with illness properly is part of wellness.
I have a few invisible illnesses I am dealing with right now: anxiety, depression and an infection I just can’t beat. All of them bring me down in different ways every day and every day feels like a fight for my life right now. I know how hard it is to deal with something people can’t see. People have a really hard time believing anything they can’t see. So on we go to the 30 things!
30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know
1. The illness I live with is: Anxiety (worst)
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: Never officially been diagnosed for anything, which makes it even harder because my illnesses are invisible to workplaces especially
3. But I had symptoms since: Probably since I started to grow up and realize how shit the world can be, maybe like 12/13.
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: Giving myself hours and hours to get ready to leave the house
5. Most people assume: I am exaggerating and I am just lazy/unable to deal with being a grown up
6. The hardest part about mornings are: Convincing myself there is a reason to not stay in bed
7. My favorite medical TV show is: I don’t watch any haha got enough illness in my life
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: Webmd
9. The hardest part about nights are: By night I am usually worn down by everything so it’s hard to enjoy my boyfriend. Right now I am usually in pain and major discomfort from my infection and it always seems harder to ignore at night.
10. Each day I take 5 pills & vitamins. (No comments, please)
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: Have had to rely solely on those for the past while (save for anti-anxiety pills) because I am starting to believe they are the best methods. It’s really expensive though so I am broke because of all the money I have to spent to treat my infection and depression on my own.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: Honestly sometimes I do wish it was visible. I know that’s a terrible thing to say but if I was sick by medical standards I’d have support and money coming in. I could deal head on instead of when I can afford to.
13. Regarding working and career: I can’t right now. I fear I will never be able to hold down a professional job and will be doomed by my disabilities.
14. People would be surprised to know: My anxiety causes physical responses in me. My mental state is all over me. My infection, my face, my nerves. I have a mini panic attack everytime I leave my apartment and when I’m feeling self-deprecating they can turn into full-blown anxiety attacks that render me useless. I end up acting like someone completely different and feeling cornered by everything. It’s not just about being out of control it is that I can’t control myself in that moment, because I am sick.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: I may never know what “okay” feels like.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Finish school.
17. The commercials about my illness: Often make me feel pathetic.
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Not being afraid
19. It was really hard to have to give up: Makeup
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Collecting self help books I don’t read
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Just enjoy it. Do the things I love without struggling.
22. My illness has taught me: How much it hurts us that humans can’t be upfront and honest.
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: Why are you behaving like this? I want people to understand it’s not an isolated thing or because of them.
24. But I love it when people: Hug me
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: I like mottos but I can’t say I really live by one. Just my friends and music get me through.
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: it will be hard but you’d be surprised at how compassionate some people can be.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: How different each day can be.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: when I used to spend days in bed Nick would wake me up with a coffee and a treat to cheer me up. He always tries to do little things to make me happier.
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I thought it was a good cause and I want to spread awareness.
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: a little surprised and nervous. I hope it helped you understand some things.